Thursday, April 12, 2012

Two Years, and some really good news.....

·         On April 7, my daughter and LeBoyfriend had 2 years clean and sober.  They barely even noted the date - they are too busy working extremely hard, and building their lives together!  But she did acknowledge my congratulatory text with "yep, 2 years, J"

·         I have been keeping up with blogs, but obviously not saying much.  I think I am just burnt out - I've had a lot of ups and downs with my business and the uncertainty is exhausting in its own way.  We got dropped the other day by yet another physician that we had been transcribing for, for seven years.  Rain, hail, internet outage, power failure, vomiting, fever, vacation, NOTHING kept us from returning this doctor's dictations well within the 24 hour turnaround time as contracted.  I haven't raised my rates in 18 years, though I plan to this month.  We got up one morning and Dr. T was simply not on the dictation system.  And not the next morning, or the next.  This has happened before and I could have recited his staff member's speech for her, when I called.  "oh no, nothing wrong, Dr. T, he is using the new 'electronical' medical records and he no need you any more!" 

Thanks for the considerate notice and giving me the opportunity to prepare MY staff member to lose about a grand a month in income.  Ugh.

·         I'm missing my daughter horribly.  We are lucky if we see her once a week and while I realize that is APPROPRIATE, and I should just shut my mouth and stop my whining, I miss her "hi mommy" when she would come home from work, and her "bye mommy" when she would zip out in the mornings, or on the way to the gym.  She always stopped just long enough to vent and I loved hearing about her triumphs, challenges, and how all her friends in recovery were doing.  I'm nosy that way.

·         My oldest daughter is actively pursuing a move to the eastern TN area.  She has joined the expansive paralegal association there, is taking advantage of the online streamed continuing education classes for those jurisdictions, and is applying for every job on their job board.  She may just beat us to our forever home-place.  That should light a blowtorch under my DH's butt, to say the least.  He's moving very slowly on the things that must be done to prepare this house to sell….  While I am happy to think we could be waking up on our little chunk of heaven in the mountains of TN in about 611 days (yes, I have a countdown widget heralding his retirement date), the thought of being 3000 miles from my youngest and LeBoyfriend, positively makes me dizzy.  Must work on that!  Skype and airplanes exist for a reason.  Right?!

·         I will have to stop calling him LeBoyfriend soon.  About a month ago, he called and asked if he could stop by to talk to my DH.  I initially thought it was about the flooring he is going to lay for us in my daughter's old bedroom, now that she is living with him in their cute little apartment.  Then my heart skipped about 30 beats.  I told DH he better be prepared for THAT conversation.  He went white as a sheet.  LeBoyfriend showed up in a starched blindingly white shirt, pressed pants, and when I hugged him I realized he was shaking.  So I started shaking too.  He asked DH if he could speak with him on the patio alone.  I almost hit him with a nearby frying pan.  No opportunity for eavesdropping.  I went back in my office to pout.  Five minutes later I hear the slider door open and "Joy?!?!?".  I go skidding around the corner to the den, scattering dog hair and dogs, and screech to a stop in front of him.  As my husband comes in the sliding door, LeBoyfriend tells me "I told your husband that I'd like to ask your daughter to marry me on Saturday and he gave me his blessing!"

·         I bear-hugged him and cried.  He cried.  My husband cried.  I told him how honored we would be and how proud I was, having watched him do every damn thing he had said he was going to do, since he got out of prison.  They lived at home a year. They got job(s).  They became regular in their attendance and activities with their church.  They saved money.  They "dated".  (He spent the night every Saturday night and I miss those evenings - so much fun with all of us together!)  They bought cars.  They satisfied their active parole requirements and were both were switched to "informal" parole with "write-in" reports once a month.  He dealt with his child support issues and is paying that off.  She met with the IRS and is paying her back taxes from two years ago.  He said his one regret was that he was unable to discharge his parole completely.  My daughter is now off parole, LeBoyfriend has six months more of informal.  Healthy steps in the right direction, in my humble opinion.  He had already picked a ring with the help of his sweet mom, and it was going to be ready in another day.

·         So high on the top of a snowy mountain in Big Bear, that Saturday, he asked her to marry him.  And everyone cried some more!  She said "yes" and now she is trying to plan a wedding.  They want a small Las Vegas wedding with immediate family members only, and a reception about a month later.  It will literally be an 'up and back in two days' affair.  His mother and dad were married in a small chapel in Vegas 37 years ago, and for sentimental reasons, he would like to do the same.  She's a little overwhelmed with the whole process, but we've told her to take it at her own speed.  They don't want big, expensive or stressful.  His daughter and my oldest daughter will be co-maids-of-honor.  I think there will be nine of us there, total.  The reception on the other hand, will be a raucous affair with a DJ and much fun and celebration!  I think they are going to drive to Vegas in May to check out a few chapels with package deals, and make their decision about date/time.  Who knows, maybe they will elope while there.  I don't care about anything except the happy smiles on their faces. 

·         The same week she got engaged, my daughter's job was in an upheaval.  She texted me "old boss fired - I'm new boss".  The next day she texted me "double salary, and an assistant!".  She's working hard, but definitely under pressure.  She has a coworker who is actively using (meth), and since she's been with the company since its inception, this girl has no accountability to anyone and it is hard for the rest of the employees.  Everyone at this company is in recovery! Prayers please, for my daughter to stay focused and to keep working on her own recovery!

·         I personally am trying to work on me.  I am walking daily, and  have worked my way up to being able to walk three miles at a pretty good pace, without feeling the need to preplan my funeral.  I have a silly app on my cell phone that tracks me and rewards me with graphics representing how well I did.  I got three apples daily until I was sure I was going to never get anything else.  Pushed even harder one day and was rewarded with an avocado.  Good times!! 

I am trying to remember "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to."  I live with someone who makes inflammatory remarks on purpose and I am trying to ignore, leave the room, and just keep my side of the street clean.  I fail, way too often.  Yesterday's proclamation that the "little hoodlum got what he deserved" (young man shot in Florida) got the better of me.  I don't know if that individual was up to no good or not.  I don't know if the shooting was justified or not.  I was not there.  I can NOT take the word of the news, or magazines, or the various celebrities who have made it their business to speak out.  It is not my business to determine guilt.  I can pray for the family(s) involved.  I can walk out of the room the next time that statement is made - and since this is going to be an ongoing never-ending news item, I better get used to it.  I cannot change anyone's behavior but my own.  I am trying.  I need to remember that I'm not the only sick one in this house.  I hope that made sense!  Thank heavens, he and I both have enough redeeming qualities to hopefully even out our character defects.  At least, that's what I'm trying to concentrate on!

Enough rambling!  I am going to try to get today's walk in, before the rains that are forecasted for us!

I will continue to pray for all our precious children.  And for us, the loved ones who pray for them!!


  1. Having the pleasure of working with your older daughter, I knew much of this news already :) I jumped for joy about D1's engagement followed so closely by her big time promotion!!!!! I feel so happy reading about her. She's very dear to me, we keep in touch here and there.

    What app gives you apples and avos??? I want it! I am trying to walk....of course that's silly you don't have to try you either do it or don't do it. Ugh.

    I'm glad you wrote, Joy. Love you!

  2. The federal government is giving doctors a huge cash bonus to convert to EMR before, I think, July. What doctor can pass up approx. $18,000. Where is the money coming from?? Well, it's going on the national deficit, and will be riding on the backs of our children and grandchildren for years to come. I could go on, but what's the hear enough from "you know who"...LOL.

    I'm happy beyond words about all of this. Gosh, I remember the horror stories, the ones you shared on this blog, and by email. Those were dark days. Some days, I still can't believe our kids made it out alive. Andrew isn't moving forward at this speed, but he is doing it in his time, in his way. He will always be a bit of an outsider, I see that now. But he has a big ole' heart, and I'm proud of whatever kind of life he makes for himself.

    I'm looking forward to pics of the wedding..and you in a new dress! Hugs to you Joy, you are a wonderful blogger friend.

  3. Wow, congratulation to your daughter and her now fiance! Way to go for both of them.

  4. I am so glad you had all these great times with your family. Sorry about the transcriptions. I can not understand why the government would encourage something that would take jobs away!

    Anna letgohangon