Friday, April 2, 2010

More collateral damage....

Readers’ Digest version: During a procedure to dilate a constriction in his esophagus (Schatzki’s ring) my husband was found to have abundant and large esophageal ulcers. It is the consensus of the medical profession that stress does not CAUSE ulcers. However, stress certainly will WORSEN them, or prevent them from healing. During a phone call later to check on him, his doctor asked me “is your husband under a tremendous amount of stress?”

Ya think? I seriously had a moment where I thought I would burst into hysterical laughter/tears.

Since these were not present at an earlier procedure to remove a food bolus during a choking spell, they are a new and recent development. And since he has a strong family history of cancer, and esophageal ulcers can develop into esophageal cancer…. There is apparently cause for concern and biopsies were taken. Everything looks benign now.


But he’s got to learn some new coping mechanisms, or we’re going to lose more than just our daughter to this. Her situation is not the only stressor in his life. But it is by far, the largest and the most painful. It eclipses everything else.

13 comments:

  1. I have come to realize, lately that my health is a reflection upon what I put on myself concerning my son. After realizing this and seeing the effects it makes it even more imperative that I "let go" of his issues and control only what is within my grasp.

    I have a new granddaughter and I will not allow my son to rob me of her life.

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  2. I will be praying that he will heal both physically and emotionally. It sure does take a toll on our overall health, another reason to accept what is, give it to God and move forward. Of course, easier said than done, but maybe this will be the thing that helps him to move forward even more than he has.

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  3. When the sleepless nights I used to spend worrying about my addicted daughter took a toll on me, I made the decision that she can kill herself if she so chooses, but I'll be damned if I let her kill me.

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  4. One thing we all agree about is that we have to protect our own health. Our health is definitely at risk due to our dealings with the addicts.

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  5. Good thing these ulcers were found in time to be treated and before they had a chance to turn into something far worse.

    All the comments above are good advice, we all know we are suppose to let go and not let it affect us. Its not easy, but it can be done. Does your husband talk about his concerns or keep it bottled up? Does he have an enjoyable hobby (like your quilting is for you)? I hope whatever method he uses, you can both experience a deeper level of "letting go" so that you can keep your lives healthy. Praying for your family.

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  6. I think we all agree that we have to protect our health. The stress is unbelievable!

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  7. The hard part for me is letting someone else have their own response to addiction. I seek to be okay with the addict's path, but also with the path of other family member's, in response. The second can be just as painful as the first.

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  8. I realized when I ended up in the emergency room for what I thought was a heart attack, but ended up being an anxiety attack, I realized just how much stress can do to a person. I'll be praying for him. xoxo

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  9. Wow - this is scary. As much as I think that I'm "holding up", I'm scared that my daughter's drug addiction and associated crises are affecting me internally. These ill effects usually only show up and manifest themselves when they're raging - with a lot of damage already done. I'm just not sure how to excise the malignant tumor of a child's addiction from my being.

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  10. My gosh, so sorry to hear about this. I always pray for your family, but I will pray specifically for DH's health. When I was married to my first husband (Heather's Dad), things got so bad due to his addictions that I was so stressed out and mentally abused that I physically got so ill... the (medical) doctor's exact words were, "Get out of this marriage, it's killing you." I pray DH finds ways to help him not internalize his stress.
    Praise God the ulcers seem to have been found early!

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  11. I hope he decides to destress and realize that he can't fix your child.

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  12. I am so sorry to hear this. I am worry a little about my own health...I carry so much stress around it hurts sometimes.

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