Friday, March 26, 2010

Turning corners...

A bit of a corner has been turned, in me, in my mind (feeble though it may be at my age)!

I hit a new level of “low” in regards to my daughter. I really felt a sort of audible mental click a week or so ago, maybe two. I'm just… I’m not sure how to explain it.

I’m more angry these days.
Dad's post really hit home – I so get it!)

But mostly, I’m okay. I’m sad. But I’m okay. What choice to I have anyway!?

Acceptance.

I love the daughter I carried inside me, nursed, kissed, and raised. I have loved being her mom. But she’s so seldom “home” inside her body these days. She’s certainly not part of our lives at this time (her choice). She’s all but gone.

And I’m sad. But I’m okay. Everyone must experience some “sad”. Why should I expect to be any different?!

I have a post I want to fine tune a bit, and think on, before I put it up…. More along these lines…. Not sure if I'm restating the obvious or getting hung up on semantics, but a thought or two I will share later.


But for today, just wanted to check in with my dear blogging friends and say…

My head’s up. I’m plugging along. Life is so worthwhile, even though it has changed so dramatically over the past decade.

And I am still so grateful for the good in my life!

P.S. I miss so many of our bloggers. <3


P.P.S. Second quilt top completed for Crisis Center Homes. Starting a third this weekend!

9 comments:

  1. Glad you are checking in. All of us know you are out there and we are thinking of you and your daughter. Hang tough and never give up hope but live in the real world too.

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  2. I am glad that you are doing well. It is good to not lose yourself. Your daughter has choices. I hope that she makes the right choices.

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  3. I am with you girl. Whatever we choose and whatever they choose we still need a lot of courage.

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  4. It seems like sometimes a point is reached where the loved one just says "I'm done". Not done loving or caring, but done investing so much hope, enduring so much pain, living in constant fear and worry. I respect that because its the healthy thing to do, but not the easy thing. There is no easy thing when addiction is involved. I am glad you are plugging along. I am really glad you are still blogging (I can't take another loss!). Looking forward to the post you are working on.

    Way to go on the quilts!

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  5. it's a long walk, that journey we walk. but when we reach our destination, it is very peaceful.

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  6. I'm so glad you are here Joy. This is all such tough stuff. I'm glad you are posting and working through it here. It not only helps you...it helps everyone.

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  7. It is sad for us who miss the ones we knew.

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  8. Your posts always give me inspiration and you are one of the first blogs I read when I was new so many months ago. I now find myself in a very similar space as you. I am o.k. too. Can't wait for your next blog post. Keep on keepin on.

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  9. A bit of a corner, a turning point toward health, and you never know..you may just be followed into wholeness one day. Mad

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