Their “best thinking” is that they will just try to get clean and stay out of the county. They apparently think that will help them evade arrest. Boyfriend told me he knows if he turns himself in, or if he is arrested, either way, it’s 16 months prison time for him and he just wants to delay it as long as possible.
Jello-brain. (one of my kids' favorite insults to fling around at about age five!)
DD2 admitted she was aware it could go easier on her if she turned herself in, and she would likely do a little time and then get held until a program bed was available. But she “can’t leave him.”
Jello-brain. A matched pair. (Sorry, I'm still in "cranky mode".)
Really, I raised my girls to be independent. I chanted the “say no to drugs” and the “you don’t need a Significant Other to be complete” speeches regularly. They know my speeches so well they can say them, themselves. I’ve heard them do it.
As several folks have pointed out, she is as dependent on him as she is on the heroin.
I handed over her stuff and we exchanged hugs and “I love yous”. DH and I walked out with her under the auspices of waving goodbye, commented to them on their rental car choice (a car they know I happen to like) and I noted the brand of the rental car key tag when I leaned in to wave at Le Boyfriend and told them to “take care of themselves”. Then we waved them out of sight (chanting the plate number to ourselves as we did).
I couldn’t decide whether to give that info to Probation or not. DH was afraid of repercussions from pissed-off loaded boyfriend or boyfriend’s brother…. I’m so wanting to just get this stopped before she overdoses or gets another theft charge or worse. Jail would mean no more heroin for a while.
Then I remembered reading Lisa C’s comment about “check your motives” made on another blog. And then I think I read the same viewpoint by Syd on yet another one!
Check my motives. Would I be trying to do something to FIX HER? Yep.
Thanks fellow bloggers, for that bolt of clarity!Really, nothing changes, if nothing changes, way deep down inside. If she is stopped in some fashion, but doesn’t resolve to walk away from all of it, including him, I fear she’ll never make it. So, not sure there is any benefit to passing the rental car info along….This has to be HER shift in thinking…. Not a change in circumstances that I manipulate.
Next morning, Probation called and I answered all of her questions honestly. Yes, I’d seen her. Yep, quite unexpectedly, and right there in my living room 18 hours earlier. Gone in ten minutes. No, I don’t know exactly where she is staying. No, I don’t think she’s going to turn herself in. Yes, I’m glad there is now a warrant on all three of them. Yes, if she comes by again, I’ll try to get her to speak with Probation.
But in the meantime, I just continue to pray. And hope. And I’m going to take the Little People for a walk today. I got a new leash extension that is spliced so I can walk the littlest two together…. If we don’t tie ourselves in knots and go down in a heap, the walk with be good for all of us! And then I’m going to go sew on the quilt top for the Crisis Center. And make DH some Piccata Chicken (a la Pioneer Woman’s site). And plants some flower seeds. Life goes on, and it’s good. Not perfect, but darn good!
Edited to add:
Here’s the first finished quilt top for the Crisis Centers my dad and mom work with. I will layer it with batting and backing tomorrow, pin it, and then start quilting it all together. I’m not entirely happy with it, but it has the colorful and scrappy look I was going for, and I think I’ll like it better when it’s quilted and has the binding on it.
I have enough scraps left over (and this was donated fabric from a friend to start with!) to make several Sunbonnet Sue blocks and I hope to do this with scraps from each quilt I make, thereby gaining a whole ‘nuther quilt at the end of this project, with bits and scraps from each quilt along the way.
The Little People took the opportunity to test the quilt top for softness and check it out as a wrestling surface.
Tuffboy goes for the throat!
And Kimi retaliates with an assault on his leg! That’s my girl!
The Chicken Piccata was great. The walk was challenging (from the "tangle up and fall" factor, not the distance or the weather!) The seeds didn’t get planted, but tomorrow is another day!