Wednesday, February 24, 2010

An option

Update: We have an option we will present to DD2 when I pick her up from detox tomorrow. She has no idea where she will go for the two weeks or so that she has to make early morning phone calls to try to get a bed in residential treatment.

She wants to come home. No way, I say.

If she accepts the option that sort of landed in our laps, great! She will have a place to make her calls and sleep. If she agrees, when I drop her at Probation, she will have her appointment with her and give her the information. We will proceed to the first treatment intake appointment which is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and then to the place that was offered to her. If she does not accept the option, or if she has not located a place on her own by that time, I will leave her at the Villa for that appointment as planned. I'll just go home! She has a cell phone, and she can start calling for other places to stay from their front porch. 'Tis up to her.

Coming home is not being offered. (Subject to DH changing his mind, etc. Sigh.)

I will show support, and love, encourage her, and leave and let go. It is up to her. She is mourning her perceived loss of Boyfriend, whom I do not for one moment think is going to remain lost to her. That’s up to her too.

I’m going to come home tomorrow evening and go to my sewing room. I sewed the blocks you see below last night. The big one is a 10-1/2 inch square, the little ones are 5-1/2 inches square. After they are sewn into a finished quilt, they will be 10 inches and 5 inches finished.

The 5 inch ones are challenging - almost 30 pieces in 5 inches square.

(click to embiggen but don't look too closely at the stitching!)

DH and I are a bit alike with stress. He cleans. Every time he’s gotten fired, he’s cleaned out the garage. A clean garage now makes me nervous!

Funny story: he never tells me he’s fired. He tapes down the light bulb in the fridge so it won’t turn on, symbolic of our sudden need to be even more frugal. I open the door and Ooops! I know exactly what’s happened. I also know where to look for him for details. I head to the garage!

I don’t mean to make it sound like he gets fired regularly, but after 30 years, the four or so jobs that have ended for him in that fashion have created a silly bit of tradition for us. The tradition has spread from him – when our oldest got laid off last year, it was the first thing she did when she got home with her box of desk supplies and personal belongings! We laughed! In the face of what should have devastated her! She was grinning from ear to ear – she felt like a REAL grownup cos she had been through something like her dad, and she could carry on the goofy tradition! Apparently when my “son” got laid off two weeks ago – he did it at his house!

I sew for a hobby, and I’m passionate about quilting. But when stressed, I sew for peace. I think it is the measuring, cutting, fitting, pressing, and the precision along the way that calms my mind!

I'm staying focused on our blessings today!


  1. Beautiful sewing work. I can make simple things like curtains and pillowcases and baby blankets!

  2. I clean when stressed or upset. I cry when I get fired. lol

    I envy your quilting skills. The only thing I can do is cross stitch.

    I have been thinking of you often and am really hoping for your calmness and acceptance to remain with you. (((HUGS)))

  3. I think the boyfriend has to go if she is ever going to make it. Opps..I mean, she WILL make it, but he still has to go!

  4. I clean when stressed too. I wish I sewed instead I'd have something to show for it!

    Several of the women that are in Recovery Court with Kev live at the Villa and I've heard really good things about it. I hope and pray she chooses it.

    Your quilt pieces are so pretty!!! Thanks for giving us a peak :)

  5. Stick to yor guns! I am so not creative and I admire people who are. I love the squares you made.

  6. You sound so at peace about your decision, and I'm rooting for you. I wish I cleaned or sewed when I got stressed. All I do is hang around and vibrate. Not productive.

  7. Well it looks like there are a bunch of stress cleaners on here..guilty also. I WISH I could create such beautiful work in any of my craft projects, but I usually start them all gungho and then don't even finish. I think one of the reasons many men like golf is because you really can't think about anything else while trying to hit a tiny ball into a hole far, far away. I like to play in the Spring/Summer just for that reason, no thought other than how to get that stupid ball in the hole, and believe me, it takes me awhile! Love the lightbulb/garage firing ritual, hope I never have to try it, but will remember for future reference. I am glad you are holding your own, and hope that she will do the same.

  8. I go to my boat when stressed. It is a place of peace and calmness. I can remember a time though when I had to say the serenity prayer over and over when I was obsessing over the alcoholic, even though I was on my boat. I had to get through 15 minutes at a time. I'm glad that I learned to Let Go. I had to.

  9. I clean when things are bad too...I wish I could sew though, I mean really sew. The cleaning is something about bringing order where there is chaos, for me at least. You sound like you guys have come up with some good decisions to keep your own sanity alive and well. That is so very important in this journey, isn't it.

    As an aside....that is funny about taping the light switch in the fridge. lol and seriously I thought "Ohhh that's a good idea." Our PG&E bill has been astronomical the past months because my mom runs this little heater instead of using her pellet stove. She pays the difference but it just kills me to give away that kind of money to a utility office. 903.00!!! last month.
    I'm glad that you sound determined and strong. Inspires me to do the same.

  10. I write when I am stressed, or exercise. I am envious of your quilting skills, that always looked like the coolest kind of hand made gift to give.

    Best of luck to you and yours.