Thursday, February 18, 2010

I ratted.

Again, thank you all for your comments and input yesterday. I am much more at a point of acceptance today. It is what it is.

As far as an update: I ratted.

Probation and I talked this morning. She needed my fax number to send the referral for DD2’s outpatient treatment program. I answered P.O.’s questions honestly, including the one about when I’d seen DD2 last….. which was last Friday. I told her once we knew what was going on, we’d told her that she could not come home. I told her that DD2 is supposedly calling treatment centers each morning and hoped to get in, admitted using, etc. Probation told me to tell her to call her, that she’d be helpful if DD2 approached her, but would have no course but to violate/arrest her, if P.O. had to come and find her.

Ironically, or was it a God-thing?, I hung up from Probation and DD2 called within nanoseconds. She’s to call back one of the treatment centers today at 1 PM, highly likely she’ll get in. She will need a ride. I agreed to pick her up (with DH, bad part of town) and take her in, and bring a small bag of clothing/pjs.

I mentioned what Probation and I had talked moments earlier and that I had admitted not seeing her for a week. She was fine with that (not that I care if she was fine with that, just helps me gauge where she is mentally). She was crying, admitted she is using heroin daily (so she was likely NOT sober from Saturday until yesterday, as she had said yesterday), and wants to quit. She said she was willing to walk away from Boyfriend. He’s out of his mind anyway, thinks there are people in TV watching him and that she’s screwing his brother. Good times. Whatever....not my business.

I told her to let me know what happened at 1 PM and to keep doing the next right thing. Mentioned if she didn’t get in today, it was getting pretty damn close, so keep on calling! Mentioned again that Probation would like to hear from her.

I figured it would take her a few minutes to get the balls to call Probation, so I called back and updated P.O. She was 100% enthusiastic, and said she’d hold off on going after her. Ten minutes later, DD2 called again. She’d spoken with Probation, and if she gets to go into treatment today, we are to pick her up at motel, take her to Probation for a quick face2face, and then drop her at Roque Center.

If she gets the green light to go in today, we will call her from motel lot and have her come out to car. I’m not dealing with Boyfriend while he’s not 100% cognizant of reality. We’ll zip over to Probation, and then to treatment center. From there, she’s on her own to do the hard work.

I don’t know if she’s trying to get a 90 day pajama party out of this (again), or if she’s serious. I’m just doing what I perceive to be the next right thing – if she gets this opportunity, I am providing the requested bag of clothing and a ride to the treatment program and letting go of the outcome. I’ll try to post something later tonight, if I have any news….

Happy Thursday to us all! It’s almost The Weekend!!



  1. Good Post.

    Hopefully the PO is just as serioous about trying to end this as you are. I found my son's PO's to be helpful in my process, I know not all are.

  2. I'll be praying for all of you today.

  3. This post made me smile. You are an example to the rest of us, really. I read your previous post late last night and was thinking about my response when I read this post. I do think when we get the "phone call" our knee jerk reaction is strictly fear and that tends to be parent's of addicts operating emotion. You worked through this with such love and care. Your daughter has great knowledge and has many tools at her disposal due to her experience at rehabilitation efforts. I was going to comment on your last post that if you look back at your own postings of your blog, the answers are all there. You inspire me, seriously. My prayers continue, truly.

  4. It always amazes me how quickly things can turn around/change. I definitely think it was a "God-thing" but by now you know my beliefs :) I'll be praying, keep us updated when you get a chance.
    Good to be safe and not go to the room... we will give a sigh of relief when you report she's made it to RC.
    God bless.

  5. I am sooo happy to see some calm acceptance! I will continue thinking and hoping for your whole family. Happy Thursday to you too!!!!

  6. You did your part now she has to do hers.

  7. Sounds like things are moving along. Very good sign that she wants to ditch the bf, I hope she does. I ditto all the comments above, you are doing great, and are an example to follow!! You keep doing the next right thing just like you told DD2 to.

    Anthony is at the Rocque Center! When she gets there I'll tell him to watch out for her in a brotherly way if that's okay with you.

  8. I'm glad that things worked out for all concerned. I hope that she gets in soon and that you get some rest and down time.

  9. I've wondered if I should call my daughter's probation officer and tell her exactly where Hayley is? That would result in an arrest, of course - or so I thought. Actually - last summer I talked to Hayley's PO, and she said that Probation doesn't go out looking for 'clients' who are violating their probation. The PO said, however, that if Hayley turned herself in, she would qualify for a diversion treatment program instead of jail time. I also called the police and told them where Hayley was, at the crack house, and would they arrest her? They said no. They didn't have the time or staff to do that. I actually could not get my daughter arrested - can you believe that? I've been told that jail is sometimes the best option in getting a heroin addict clean for a while and thinking more clearly. After a few months of being away from the drug lifestyle, they at least have a chance to maybe make another choice.