Monday, November 2, 2009

Still toeing our line....

We're still holding our own around here. DD2 has stopped asking for rent. She made a pointed comment last week about how she and Boyfriend had to sell cans and bottles to make her rent.... but since we routinely collect DH's soda cans and our plastic bottles around here and trot down to the recycle center and sell them every three months, I didn't think that was a terrible hardship for her. Yes, I'm feeling a little snarky today.

However, rent has been paid. Phone has been covered for another month. She has been eating. She has been bussing to work. And none of it at our expense. I am grateful that she seems to be getting the message and is not calling us for money at this time. The conversations were not always pleasant last week, but we got through it.

One concern is a staph infection she has. Right before she moved out of her sober home, a girl moved in, with a staph infection. (This girl had antibiotic impregnated cotton gauze in several gaping wounds on her legs!)

DD2 mentioned to the owner that that was highly contagious and the story is, the owner insisted "oh its not Staph, its just an infection." Well, this girl was in the same 4-girl bedroom/bathroom with DD2. DD2 has a huge staph infection on her leg now, likely the result of showering with the same soap bottles, or brushing up against damp towels or shower walls or something in the bathroom, and getting the infection in the scrapes on her legs from shaving. She presses hard when shaving and usually gets cut.

When she moved to her current living situation, she had a few bumps on her legs that looked like infected mosquito bites, and I thought they had the potention to be Staph. I mentioned this to her and she freaked and told me about the girl at the house. I gave her some triple antibiotic cream and alcohol and mentioned she could use hot compresses and if any of them opened, to be sure and clean them carefully and slather with the antibiotic cream, but that my foremost suggestion was that she get to a free clinic and get seen. I was pretty sure it could be Staph.

DD2 being the totally compliant type (not!), did none of the above. So she's now been to the emergency room twice, and probably still is not done with this, since she has no money for antibiotics to continue the IV antibiotics they gave her in the ER. They cultured and gave it a name and my worst fears were proved: MRSA (methicillin-resistent staphylococcus aureus). It's nasty stuff. Now she's got the antibiotic impregnated cotton packing and drains going.

I have been begging her strongly suggesting to her that she get on the county health care program (MSI?) as they suggested to her in jail. I've "played that tape" since the day she got out.

She just doesn't get it. She's had every excuse in the book. No bus fare, no money to give a friend to drive her, no time while she was working previous job, no way to do it while unemployed, and now, no time on this new job to do it. MSI would cover her expenses and retroactively (said two sources, but I am not sure about this) cover her previous hospitalizations for this infection. It takes a while to get it, but then it covers some previous treatments. She has to go to some office in the hospital and fill out paperwork. I have even offered to take time off and come down and take her to that particular appointment.

Codependent? Probably. Maybe necessary since she hasn't got the brains/maturity to see the benefit? Possibly.

But she's not been willing. So we're not coughing up $150 for antibiotics.

That is very hard for me. I want to "fix" her infection because I know from working in the field, that this is serious stuff.

Deep sigh and letting go!


- She's sober! She's working! She's looking forward to us possibly taking her and Boyfriend out to dinner next weekend, down in their neck of the woods. We think we should make the effort to visit them, instead of having them come up here all the time.

- My mom and dad are out gallavanting around in their small town, enjoying good health, good friends, and good clean air. They love their little ranching community and they are loved by the folks there. Daddy still pitches bales of hay around, and he'll be 80 next year! I'm so grateful!

- I had a better month, financially! Small improvement in the bottom line - Yay!

- I'm done with the billing process for my company for this past month - and this means I can go upstairs and sew a bit later this afternoon with a clean conscience! I do love me some sewing time!

Unrelated: I had a stroke of brilliance this morning. I am going to refuse to get exhausted and stressed out this Christmas. I plan to decorate for Christmas over the next two weekends. Heck, the stores start early - why can't I? If it were up to me, Christmas would be very quiet, very sparsely decorated, and lots of emphasis on just spending time with my family.... but DH is a real Christmas nut....

He bakes cookies for my clients and delivers them every year, the week before Christmas. He walks into all the physicians' offices that I transcribe for, wearing a Santa hat instead of his FedEx hat and hands out plates of cookies.... they love him for it!

Is he a Sweetheart, or what??!!

He started baking last week and I think that's what prompted me to consider spacing this out a bit and doing things early, and maybe not being too tired to enjoy the actual Christmas celebrations..... for the first time in 30 years.

Yeah, I'm a slow learner!

I'm off to find the Christmas boxes.... told my oldest daughter, "I'm going to play God this afternoon and build a tree!" (then I'm going to go sew!)

I'm nuts....AND a slow learner!

But I'm a grateful nutty slow learner! (Shutting up now!)


  1. I am proud of you for looking at the positive side of the situation!!
    Those cookies are adorable!

  2. My son had MRSA, it is scary stuff. He did heal with the assistance of antibotics and daily cleaning from the doctor for about a week. They kept a close eye on it. It sounds like she is starting to really take responsibility for herself, how wonderful that must be!! You are an inspiration to me as a mother to an addict. Thanks for sharing your journey and wisdom and I hope she heals quickly!

  3. They close wards here in the UK with MRSA, it's a big problem. I'm not sure about how your healthcare works. You have to opt in to get it free? What happens if you collapsed but didn't have the paperwork in place? A huge bill at the end?
    I hope your daughter heals quickly.You are doing the right thing but it's so hard isn't it.
    Christmas!!??? Enjoy yourself decorating.
    Cookies look lovely. :0)

  4. I hope that she will get better with the antibiotics and take care of herself. That MRSA is tough stuff. Glad that she has a job and is working towards being independent. Take care of yourself.