Thursday, October 22, 2009

It would be funny if it wasn't

The "I'm never going to ask for anything from you again" lasted less than 18 hours.

Details are not necessary; just that I declined her request. She is not happy. She vocalized that to me and has made a note of being sad, depressed and discouraged, on her my-space, etc.

I'm not happy either. I wished her good luck and was encouraging about two job interviews she had today. (The job she thought she got last week has apparently not materialized, for whatever reason, despite supposedly being told she would start this week.) I sent an email this morning reiterating my crossed fingers, prayers and hopes for a great outcome....

Silence. On a day when normally I would get a call telling me all about the position, bubbling with excitement if she liked and wanted the position, or sharing the let-down if it didn't pan out.

I'm finding it helps me shut up the codependent yahoos in my cranium, if I remind myself that I would think that any other mom in this situation should just back off, let her be, let her do what she's going to do, trust God (which I'm not good at), and hope, hope, hope. So that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. I hate that every time things get quiet after any sort of disagreement, I agonize and think the worst. Though the vast majority of the time, it is well-founded, it's still Stinking Thinking!

I'm off to an Alanon/Naranon meeting. And I need it - because, you know, I already checked the jail site.... How sick am I??!!

Hope – noun
1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best



  1. Codependent yahoos in your cranium! Now that was funny. I'm sorry you're going through this. Trust that God has her in his loving arms. You're both in my prayers.

  2. You are funny for being so sad. Big hug. You are doing the right thing and you are not sick, you are strong (even if you don't feel it).

  3. Good for you reaching out and going to a meeting for support. I am not the best at trusting God sometimes either. I find that when I do, I have a great sense of peace. I pray that you will find that trust tonight and the peace that follows. She has made great strides, you have been strong in your boundaries, nothing else to do but trust.

  4. I hope your meeting helped you. Thinking of you. Take care.

  5. I think if God isn't big enough, we're all screwed.

  6. Waiting for an update on your post...Prayers going out to you...