The "I'm never going to ask for anything from you again" lasted less than 18 hours.
Details are not necessary; just that I declined her request. She is not happy. She vocalized that to me and has made a note of being sad, depressed and discouraged, on her my-space, etc.
I'm not happy either. I wished her good luck and was encouraging about two job interviews she had today. (The job she thought she got last week has apparently not materialized, for whatever reason, despite supposedly being told she would start this week.) I sent an email this morning reiterating my crossed fingers, prayers and hopes for a great outcome....
Silence. On a day when normally I would get a call telling me all about the position, bubbling with excitement if she liked and wanted the position, or sharing the let-down if it didn't pan out.
I'm finding it helps me shut up the codependent yahoos in my cranium, if I remind myself that I would think that any other mom in this situation should just back off, let her be, let her do what she's going to do, trust God (which I'm not good at), and hope, hope, hope. So that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. I hate that every time things get quiet after any sort of disagreement, I agonize and think the worst. Though the vast majority of the time, it is well-founded, it's still Stinking Thinking!
I'm off to an Alanon/Naranon meeting. And I need it - because, you know, I already checked the jail site.... How sick am I??!!
Hope – noun
1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best