The requests resumed today... Bless his heart, my DH fielded the phone call this time. She asked to speak to her Dad because she is convinced that I am the one preventing her from being able to come home. When she's not asking to come home, she's asking to borrow rent money until the next job's first check.
Unfortunately the answers are still the same. We can not rescue her right now. We are trying not to say things that are putting her down, like the fact that we truly hold no hope that she'd be able to pay it back. Perhaps she could. The point is, we don't think we should loan the money or bring her home. Period. We couch it with sympathy and comments about my low business volume right now and DH's low number of hours at his job.... Maybe we shouldn't try to make the truth land so gently, but I'm still trying to encourage and be empathetic, while still saying "no."
To my knowledge (I was in my office working and did not follow his side of the conversation), he was able to carry out the conversation without it becoming a screaming match. I think it ended relatively calmly. He said she was still possibly coming by tomorrow to hang out with her sister and bake cookies with DH while the boyfriend and his brother do some construction work at boyfriend's sponsor's home nearby.
It was a huge help for him to take the call today. They phone-tagged back and forth a few times until they could get together on the line, but he eventually connected with her and I know it was not easy for him. I just can't do it all the time. I have a hard time thinking and answering her when my heart is breaking and sometimes he thinks I should have answered differently, etc. It was really nice today for him to just step into the midst of the fray and attempt to calmly answer her in a positive fashion while holding to what we think is best for us.
I had him read a few responses on another mom's blog later, and the comments really reinforced what we have been trying to believe and hold on to. This sucks, but it is best for us, and in the long run, best for our daughter.
May we all enjoy some peace and rest this weekend. :)