Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Crossing fingers, good thoughts and prayers....

She's getting a bit discouraged.

I did some driving for her one day last week (to probation and job hunting), and she put out tons of resumes....basically wallpapered her immediate area where she lives.

One spot was an upscale restaurant that she hesitated to even go into. The last couple of stops before that restaurant, I had seen her come out with her "I'm so trying not to cry" face on.... no openings, or no felony-friendly positions, etc....

This one, she didn't even want to go in for. But I suggested that she go in and try, just for giggles and grins, just for practice. I suggested that maybe they would ask her something she had not ever been asked previously, and if she wasn't happy about her answer, she'd have one more thing she could practice until she had her answer/delivery down cold.... and the next time she heard that question, she'd be ready to casually and confidently answer it.

She bought that last suggestion and went in. She came out walking all confident and perky.....she got in the car and laid her head on my shoulder and said, "oh Mom, he was sooooooooooo nice!!"

This "he" told her that he was assistant manager and they had just completed their once a month server training program.....BUT.... they had an opening for a hostess.
And that would give her a foot in the door for the next server position (think TIPS!!)

So he had her call back the next day. I mentioned it to my dad on the phone the next day and he said "let's pray for that right now"......

....which always sort of catches me by surprise, but shouldn't, given that he is a preacher/teacher of many many years experience. We concluded our phone call, I hung up, and the phone rang about three minutes later.

It was my daughter, stating she had just hung up from calling "him" at the restaurant.... they wanted her for a second interview.

She had been talking to this assistant manager while my dad was talking to his Higher Power.


Told her about it and she decided it was a God thing..... and she excitedly waited til the next day.

While my father got all his cohorts in five states praying on her behalf.

She called the next day..... and the next..... and the next (yesterday).

Each time, she got put off, asked to call back, and yesterday was told that the person who had been going to leave, had decided to KEEP her job. BUT, would she please call back today at 3 pm.

I mentioned to her that "that is NOT a closed door.....they want you to call back!"

She's trying really hard not to be depressed. She has continued to put in apps all over the place. I'm going down next Tuesday to help her get to a few places further from her house (and see probation) and encourage her a bit, grab coffee and hand out hugs....

She has an interview with a telemarketing place tomorrow.

The job she wants at the restaurant would give her enough to cover her rent and TIPS. We could help a little with food/bus passes. The job at the telemarketing place will only cover a portion of rent. (part time, minimum wage)

We are not doing well financially. We are, for the first time, spending more than we make (robbing our modest savings to pay bills).

(and I've been frugal all my life, no vacations, two new cars in last 25 years, making food from scratch, making cleaning supplies, paying extra on mortgage, etc)

We were set to relocate and semi-retire, in three years, to a place like rural Tennessee.... until the house value fell 50%, the 401Ks tanked, the interest rates plummeted, and my business started the swirling journey into the toilet. Now we're just trying to hold on here....

I'm trying to get more work. It's not a pretty picture in the medical transcription field these days. DH is trying to get more hours at his job....but the economy has struck FedEx too. There are less packages to deliver.

We really really need for her to get this a job. Coming home is not an option, for my mental health's sake and hers. We are not a healthy option for her for many, many reasons.

Please cross fingers, say prayers, think good thoughts for her today at 3 PM....

I'm really trying to stay positive. Wait.... "Dad and Mom" had a post about that. Trying versus doing. Okay. I am going to be positive today!!! So there!! She can do this. At the restaurant, or at the telemarketing place, or where ever the door with her name on it opens!

But a few prayers and good thoughts today at 3 PM can't hurt, okay??!! :)


  1. You are right she can DO this and you can DO this. What is right may not happen today or tomrrow but it will happen as long as you DO the things that are required to make it happen.

    She is DOING but she is impatient. I have observed that with my son too. Maybe it is that instant gradification that drugs give that feeds impatience. Be a support mechanism for her, be a cheerleader, be a person to temper the impatience, but most of all be there for yourself and keep her and you DOING the things that have to be done for success.

  2. I do keep my fingers crossed. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  3. Prayer works. Just sent one up for her!

  4. Thanks Dad and Mom....I agree with you - she is impatient. So am I. Very much because I can't afford to pay her rent until a job comes "several weeks from now." It is literally that tight for us now.

    I'm trying to be strong. My brain keeps jumping to her having nowhere to go next week? For absolutely certain, the week after.

    She has to get a job this week, to even have a chance of having income by the time what I saved from my dog sitting money is depleted (a separate business I started that we don't count as serious income because it only happens a few times a year, so far - three customers, to date!).

    I'm trying really hard to have faith and be positive. If she has to leave this sober home, the only other one she knows of that will take her is co-ed (a bad thing for her - she says she flirts instead of seriously persuing sobriety), and its in the heart of XXX (City), which was her personal playground.... she knows every place to pick up, every dealer, it's a huge trigger area for her. Again, HER PROBLEM. But so hard for my heart to contemplate her having nowhere to go in 10-14 days.

  5. I really hope for you all that today went well. I can't believe they have left her hanging so many times....that's not fair.
    Again, my fingers are crossed.

  6. I will pray at 2:55 p.m. PST! Times are so tough right now for so many people. An answer will come, maybe just not when or how we want it to. I am having to watch my brother waunder our little town homeless, not taking any meds for his bi-polar, so sad for me. My son isn't doing much better and I may be telling him to leave very shortly. You are not alone and I know your sense of urgency. Try hard to just give it all to God, for his time and his plan.

  7. Lots of financial, emotional stress out there right now. So easy to write that God hears you. But, you will look back and see He carried you through. If your daughter stays sober and stays out of trouble, she'll find herself a job and build herself a life. When you get to the absolute end of every resource you ever dreamed you had left, God will make a way for your daughter. Take the financial pressure for her off your shoulders and consider letting God start now. Maybe a door that seems to shut for her is a blessing in disguise. God just never works things out in the way we humans think is best. I will pray for you too, like everyone else who reads your blog. Bless you.

  8. Thanks everyone!

    Update: The person who was leaving the restaurant, that she would have replaced, is staying til January. I encouraged her to put it in her little calendar to call monthly and keep herself top of mind for them - another opening will come up, either as hostess, or as a server... She's pretty down right now, but she has an interview tomorrow and more possibilities.

    There is a door out there with her name on it.


  9. This sounds very positive...even if she does not get the job I hope she is pleased at how close she came which means she CAN and WILL get a job! I love the way you encouraged her with your suggestion, you are an amazing parent! Please keep us posted, I am thinking VERY positive thoughts for her plus praying too :)

  10. Barbara, thank you for that thought. I just sent it to her in an email.... She came very close - and they didn't say no, they just didn't have the opening they thought they would have. Something else is out there for her!

  11. Dog sitting can be a huge money maker. Maybe suggest to her for extra money she can try to advertise the services on craigslist or bring business cards to vet offices. (I used to work i nthe vet industry I know that they do A LOT of referrals) Maybe she can keep a percentage of the profits? Let her know this is a side job only. I think that would give her the tools she needs to find success on her own. She would have to work really hard for this, but it would give her a purpose and animals are always a healing presence. I dunno, jsut a thought. If you need any ideas give me a shout. :)

  12. Great suggestion by Sydney. I have always told Andrew to work at his own business..err, not the drug dealing one, but a real one..where you don't have to worry about your history. He has done personal training. That is something he can do in spite of his record.
    Good Bless her Joy, I hope something breaks for her soon. I know how they give up:(

  13. I am sure that she will get something that will help with her expenses. She deserves a lot of credit for getting out there and applying. Good for her.