Friday, August 28, 2009

Bit of a stumble....

but "it's all good," she says....

DD2 didn't get far in that "felony-friendly" job. Once they got her in there, she was told she'd be subject to a full background check (despite the interviewer having told her no background check was required or sought). At which point, she apparently said, "Ummm, let me save you some time...." And five minutes later, she is back to pounding the pavement.

We have a hot date for a visit to Probation and dropping off resumes at restaurants in the area, early next week. She spoke with her house mom and the girls at her house, for direction and everyone is suggesting that since she's so good at it, she go back to waitressing. We'll grab some good coffee, zip in and out of Probation, and then hit a few restaurants on the way back to her sober home. A short but productive time together.

Tonight we will pick up the speaker meeting at The Other Place....

I'm trying to only get together with her once (and very occasionally twice) a week, and not be her problem solver. She asked nicely, if I had time to help her get to Probation and drop a few resumes that morning next week... Everyone in her sober home is working that morning and I understand she will occasionally need a ride.

I told her what time constraints I had that day and that I'd be happy to get together for a few hours.

I plan to give her a set of daily bus passes when I see her that morning. That way, I'm helping a little in my possibly-screwed-up-opinion, but leaving the vast majority of the legwork and investment of time, in her lap, which is right where it should be. Any thoughts?

I'm looking forward to some time in my happy place (my sewing room) this weekend after work.... I'm currently working on this quilt....

Only I'm doing it as individual wall hangings, one block/month per wallhanging. I plan to hang three blocks at a time, from decorative hangers, all lined up in a row, over the sofa in our den.

At one point I pinned January and February up on my wall to see how it was going to look as a quilt.... (pictured below) but later I decided I didn't want a humongous quilt from this pattern, and I'm going with the wall hangings....

Quilting is something that brings me some peace and I get something useful out of it too! Win/Win!

Wishing us all a peaceful weekend and time to pursue something that brings us joy.



  1. First, I LOVE your quilting work. I do not quilt myself (wish I could), but like photography and need to put that back on my priority list.

    I think everything happens for a reason, so the job was not the right thing for her. I also think you giving her a ride, spending a little time with her and providing her bus passes are all positive things. When they are receptive, approach, when they are not, retreat. You are such an inspiration to me, thank you!

  2. She continues to be on the right path...and so do you. Your quilting is beautiful. Keep doing that which brings you peace.

  3. It sounds like you are doing great. She is your daughter after an occasional ride, spending time with her, and providing bus passes are things mom's would do. I love that you set down your time constraints...unhealthy helping would be canceling all of your plans to be available to drive her around.

  4. It is loving help, not enabling. If you do it because you want to and you can, that is different than doing it because you feel guilty, feel sorry for them, or trying to rescue. Getting a job can be tough with a felony..the internet makes it impossible to keep a secret--but it can be done. I've seen lots of people (including Andrew) get jobs if they just keep at it.

    She is asking for help and support from the people at the house, that is good too. I'm looking forward to a cup of GOOD coffee with my son.

    I'm so envious of the quilts. Very cool!

  5. sorry bout the job thing, but tat is life on its terms.

    you are doing what lou said, loving, not enabling.

    bus passes are great. i give them out to addicts instead of rides and cash..

    you are loved
    Brother Frankie
    A Biker for Christ

  6. wish I could do quilts like this. They're awesome. And they make me think about our lives - how God sort of puts them together in a way that one day will make sense. Sarah

  7. Oh! You quilt! Awesome! My grandma made me a few quilts...more than any of the grandchildren...I loved her extra special too. That's what I should do some day! Post pictures of my quilts...only IF one of my son's drug friends hadn't stolen my camera!!!!! I'm feeling a bit helpless right now, not to worry, it'll pass.
    You're doing a great job with that daughter! Gives me strength to stay on the path with my son.