Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I'm still here...

Sticking my head up to say all is status quo here....

DD2 is doing her time. I visit every Friday morning. She's going to hopefully start a 60 day drug treatment program in jail very soon... the completion of that program will give her assistance in sober home placement and bus passes, etc. This is a good thing!

DD1 is looking for a job (laid off 9 weeks ago) and contemplating going back to school for paralegal and teaching certificates, which would be more useful than her degree in history.

DH is still very detached from situation with DD2. He will not visit, and will not write. He never answers the phone, but if I pass it to him at my daughter's request, he usually states something about "she needs to get it, this time" and that's it.... though he usually will tell her he loves her before passing the phone back to me. He gave me three whole dollars to put on her books last week. Sigh. He is still working part time and seems secure, though FedEx has begun laying off people for the first time in its 35+ year history. Crossing my fingers on that one, because he works for our medical benefits, mostly. Medical benefits are Gold, in my opinion!

My business has continued to shrivel, and I've now lost at least 50% of my orthopedic account (biggest account) to that pesky "dragon" (voice recognition transcription).

On the bright side, I'm sending out a brochure this week to all the surgicenters and ortho group practices in our vicinity. Maybe we will pick up something new! If not, I may have to lay off a few of my independent contractors and take their work for myself. That is hard for me to do.

I've spent a lot of time in my garden for the last four weeks. The survivalist in me is hoping it was time well spent and that the anticipated vegetables will make a difference for our food bills this summer! I have squash blossoms this morning! YAY!

Meetings continue... I'm learning a lot, but still trying to determine how "program" and "taking care of a mentally ill person" co-exist. Won't get into that now, but maybe in another post.

I've spent a lot of time perking up my patio by painting tables and chairs (which will give us a cooler spot to be in the hot summer evenings, as it is shaded by house), and also completed a project in my sewing room. I now have pegboards to hold my "stuff".... And I've completely reorganized, and in the process uncovered a lot of UFO's (unfinished objects!). I have plenty to work on, without spending any money at all! This is good for me..... my most peaceful times are in that room, or having a quick cool drink on the patio with my family.

I check in with the other bloggers I have met daily.... I just haven't posted much lately because I've been sort of taking some time for me. I needed to just bury myself in things other than trips to the sober home, etc.

On the dark side, I've had some bouts with depression lately... but I'll write more about that another time. It comes, it will GO!

Another positive - DD2's boyfriend has nearly finished his 90 days in residential treatment and is doing very well. He was here for dinner for my DH's birthday last weekend, and we talked seriously with him and though he loves my daughter very much, I told him he needs to really take care of himself..... and not let her drag him down. That sounds awful, coming from a mother, but he understood exactly what I meant. I invited him to go to a meeting at Milton's place (DD2's beloved rehab counselor that I made the quilt for) and we have a date to check out a Friday night meeting in a couple weeks when he's out of the treatment center. I'm hoping he will meet some of the neat guys there and make a new network of friends in recovery. Side benefit to me is that I always hear something at Milton's meetings that I can apply in my own life. Boyfriend is getting a place of his own and he has a good job.... things are looking up for him and he is encouraged.

I will write more later... As I said, I'm just taking some time for me right now, and also trying to drum up some business for my company (darn economy!), and spending some time on some projects.... :)


  1. It sounds good that you are taking time for yourself. These are tough times for many economically. Glad that you have a back up plan.

  2. Hey, glad to hear from you. Things sound like they are moving along. I just had the same conversation with a young man...don't let my daughter use you up and drag you down. I felt awful too. I just know that two sick people don't make a well person. Both need to be working on themselves and their sobriety. Your sewing room sounds wonderful...for a split moment, I thought "I should organize/refurbish my art room." But then as fast as it came, it left. So it will probably be awhile before I do anything down there. Thanks for checking in. I miss reading you when you are around. :o)

  3. Most men cannot work on their feelings. It's too bad, because you could work together on this. But we did the same thing for years. It has really only been in the last year that my husband truly grasps the situation, and understands that recovery is a state of being that has to be worked. It doesn't happen while your kid is laying around the house watching TV.
    Every time my husband would make some "denial" statement I just kept plugging away with "nothing will happen till Andrew works a program." He is not going to get a job, get a car, go to school, get married, stay out of jail--NOTHING--till he works a program.
    My husband finally gets it, and yours will too. Addiction is a crappy, sucky thing to understand, but information is the only way to fight back.

    Good luck on getting some accounts. This is a tough market for sure..