Friday, April 10, 2009

No DA?


Weird. I got a call that nothing was decided today, that the DA did not show up, and that at one point her defender told her to sign, or the next offer would not be six months, it would go back up to 16 months. She (and the codefendant) were going to sign, but then she was told she could not, because the DA was not there. She asked if her PO had called with the recommendation for treatment/sober home that she (the PO) had talked about.

The defender informed her that it wouldn't matter what the PO recommended, because she (DD2) was not worth it. Again, this was stated in front of witnesses (DD2's housemother and the codefendant's mother, among other court staff). She did request a new defender and one was assigned. Since I was not there, I don't really know exactly what went on, and of course, its not my business anyway. The only thing I'm sure of is that she is rescheduled for next Thursday. So be it.

Hopefully next week will conclude the whole mess, one way or another. Again, what will be, will be.

My best friend's husband is dying. Hospice nurse has said "he's going fast, perhaps by tonight." I have a ton of transcription work to do (hers and mine, as she has worked with me and my company for about 13 years). He has a glioblastoma multiforme grade 4, a brain cancer (http://www.cedars-sinai.edu/5305.html). From the day he was diagnosed, we've known "only about one out of every four patients with this type of tumor survives two years." At first, they thought he'd be one of those who actually made it for two years. They found it early; they hit it hard with chemo and radiation. But he ended up getting an infection in the bone of the skull, and the osteomyelitis hit him when he was already weakened from the chemo. The surgery to clean up that up seemed to leave him with extreme deficits. He was paralyzed on most of the right side. With the resultant immobility, came further complications.

Last week, he got appendicitis. At that point, this just seemed to pass my ability to comprehend. I understand that bad things happen to good people. But appendicitis after everything else? Not even remotely called for.

He gave up after that. They brought him home after the appendectomy last week and he literally has shut down. The CT scan of his brain done while he was in for the appendectomy? No visible tumor. It has not grown back since the chemo and radiation, though it would have eventually. But its too late.

I will miss him. He was a wonderful, extremely funny, thoughtful and gentle man, who loved sports (especially his Lakers), positively adored his wife and had been married to her for 30 years. To a certain extent we feel like we lost him months ago when the infection and second brain surgery took place. He tried so hard, but he was depressed and frustrated at his lack of progress. Now, he's unresponsive except to pain (every time she has to change him, or change a dressing, etc), and she hopes he goes quickly and easily. She doesn't want to him to be in pain any more.

I'm grateful I knew him, and for the way he made me laugh, and especially for the way he loved my best friend.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the whole daughter thing sux.

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  2. My cousin was treated for glioblastoma multiforme 2 years ago. He is still alive but has complications such as lack of mobility, partial paralysis and inability to speak. It's very sad as he is around 60 years old. His last MRI showed no sign of the tumor. But I don't know what will happen over the long term.

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  3. It is hard to accept that these bad things happen to such good people. I have faith in God and a savior, I believe in His plan. I don't know how people without faith get through it. The wife is blessed to have had him, and blessed to have a friend like you.

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  4. Hearing that totally breaks my heart. What a terrible loss. My thoughts are with you.

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